Here is something we’ve put together about Resilience. You can do this activity on your own or with your friends or family.
You could perhaps create your own Tree of Resilience and put it up somewhere that you can see it every day – as a reminder to you.
So what is resilience?
Resilience is something that we all have in different amounts – it’s the skill or ability to adapt to difficult life events. If we have lots of resilience – we cope better when life throws unwanted difficult events our way.
Now seems like a really good time to strengthen and build our resilience.
But I don’t feel resilient!
None of us have lots of resilience all of the time.
It’s true that some people are more resilient than others – but like learning anything – a new language, or learning math’s – we can learn how to strengthen our resilience.
Remember when we learnt and practiced our times tables by saying them over and over again? Well, being resilient is similar – we need to practice being resilient so we become and stay more resilient.
Can anyone become more resilient?
Yes!! Absolutely – whether your 5 or 105 – we can all learn, practice and become more resilient.
Like those body builders we sometimes see in the gym – we need to keep flexing our muscles of resilience so we can stay strong.
So how do I become more resilient?
Well you’re probably doing some of this already.
The roots of resilience are in our relationship’s (see what I did there? Lots of R’s !!) – see the Tree of Resilience below:
So we need to look after our roots – our relationships – we need to keep these relationships going.
Your strong relationships might be at home: mum / dad / sister / brother
Grandparents and friends might be at the end of a telephone or a videocall (skype, whatsapp, Houseparty, Snapchat etc)
Other supportive people in your life might be an email or a text away – scout leaders / teachers / football or netball coach
What else helps?
Well being aware of our strengths really helps.
Any strength helps – it might be we’re good at cooking or art, or we’re good at talking, or playing football or rounders, thinking about other people, being honest, good at dancing – even something like being good at reading a book – we’re all good at something.
So write a list of what you’re good at – and keep on adding to it over the next few days. Ask your friends and family to tell you 5 things they think you’re good at – and I bet they can come up with 10!
Talking to others really does help. It’s OK to tell people we feel scared or confused. By talking about these feelings we begin to see them differently. We can come up with new solutions and a new sense of belonging.
Talking really, really helps our resilience.
Taking Control of your day can also boost resilience. Instead of wishing there was a way to go back in time or change the way things are, focus on something in your control.
During the current situation we’re all living in, plan to do something every day. It might be you tidy a room in your house, paint, bake, or write a letter to someone (the post people are still delivering letters!) – plan to do something every day……
Along with this comes creating a routine (another ‘R’!!) Routines can give us comfort – so try and stick to your usual bedtime, getting up time, meal times. Structure helps to give us a sense of safety. Try not to think too far ahead. Just focus on today – and tomorrow.
Be Kind to Yourself. Don’t give yourself a hard time when you’re not feeling so good – be kind to those feelings. Ask yourself – if that feeling could ask you for something what would it be asking for? Soothe and look after those vulnerable feelings.
Create a calm space for yourself – it might be your bedroom, a corner of a room, a certain chair – create a safe comfortable space you can go to for rest and time out.
So what is the Tree of Resilience?
You can create your own tree of resilience.
Add the names of all your support people to the roots – keep adding names as your think about them. Keep talking to (or texting / writing / calling) these people. And remember to ask them to list some of your strengths – some of the things you’re good at. Different people will see different strengths in you.
On one side of the tree you could think about some of the challenges you have already faced and overcome – who and what helped you then? You could draw a tree for each challenge, or put a few challenges on the same tree. Some of your strengths will have helped in each challenge, other strengths might have only been needed once.
The leaves could represent memories – some of them might want to be blown away, others might grow on your tree and help give you some joy. Other leaves might be wishes and hopes for the future – ready to grow and bloom when the time is right.
No matter how you use your tree – please keep practicing your skills of resilience – we really think it will help.
We hope you get something out of this. Please feel free to share your trees if you want to. They could even be posted on the Parents Facebook page(s)